Joyce Maynge: Wigs, beads and LBDs

With yet another busy year shaping up ahead of us, it’s time for me to unwind for a few weeks, soak the bunions in onsens, channel my inner geisha and curl up with a good book – in between rigorous training in slalom for the London Olympic. My dear petals, by the time you read this, if I have not been impregnated by aliens again then I’ll already have my leg in the air, clipping my toe nails and relaxing on the slopes at Hakuba, one of Japan’s finest ski fields.

Before my departure, there is one thing I’m really looking forward to doing – creating a promo for the Little Black Dress Run with director extraordinaire Mikey Trotter, or Trotts to those that live with him. Nothing squeals ‘community’ quite like the depth and diversity of those who participate in the annual event.

In the lead to LBDR, people have already been asking me: “Joyce, what can I do to prepare myself for the LBD run?”
Here’s some easy to follow Joyce tips on training, fashion and more.

Don’t get sucked into drastic and dangerous diets – this will most certainly stretch your budget more than your waist line.  Instead, I have created a wonderful regime that only requires an hour a day. Simply strip naked and roll Glad Wrap around your body and use a couple of hairdryers so you sweat lots. Before you know it you will be shedding the kilos.

As the event has grown, so too have the mongrels. And it’s a special day for dogs too so dress them up in leftover tinsel from Christmas. If you’re feeling creative you can make a hat out of pig ears.

I bumped into a couple Harbour City Bears on the weekend who were trying out little black dresses and they discovered that one’s burly shoulders can actually look quite feminine if one wore big accessories that distracted the eye.

“Feather boas, big hair and even clown shoes seemed to work a treat,” Marcus exclaimed as he pirouetted.

As Mardi Gras nears, I must say how heartened I am by members of the community willing to participate in promo videos and all the organizations, big and small, joining together to help what will no doubt be the best community event in the Sydney calendar.

Anyway darlings, I must get ready for the LBD promo shoot before I jump on a plane to Japan. I only pray the Sea Shepherd doesn’t chase me down or worse still, I get captured by a Japanese whaling ship and become scientific research for decades to come. An easy mistake I suppose. I’ll keep you posted with my antics on Facebook. Gotta fly.