The queer gift list
With only days to go to go until Christmas, if you haven’t done your shopping and you’re daunted by the task at hand, never fear, the Melbourne Lesbians are here! This is our gift-buying guide for the holiday season.
For the Girlfriend
The gift you give your girlfriend could potentially be a gift for you too. With this in mind, the best gifts include food, sex-toys, holidays and anything else that could be shared. Our favourite Christmas hamper is the Burch & Purchese Sweet Studio gift box, because it’s sweet and potentially sexy (three magic words: salted caramel spread). For premium lesbian oriented sex toys check out miamuse.com.au In terms of holidays, stick to lesbian classics and gift Daylesford packages.
For the GBF
There is nothing gayer than Christmas, so the best gifts to buy your Gay Best Friend should have a Christmas theme. We recommend Mariah Carey’s Merry Christmas, the campest Christmas album of all time.
Does Mum know you’re gay? Do you want her to? Christmas is the perfect time to send her a subtle message in gift form, because the Christmas spirit will be your safety net. She can’t get mad at you for the gift you choose because that’s not what Christmas is about. Accordingly, choice gifts include: The L Word box set, Ellen Degeneres’ latest book, KD Lang CDs, or an all expense paid trip to Sydney in early March.
For that Straight couple
All the things you give boring people are appropriate gifts for the beige. Think candles, his and her themed junk, photo frames - that kind of thing. Make sure it’s cheap because you’re probably going to have to buy these people a wedding gift as well as numerous baby shower and children’s birthday gifts in the future, and you probably won’t get a return on that investment.
For the Lesbian couple
We’ve managed to find one gift that ticks all the boxes as far as what lesbians like is concerned. It’s a pet hen from rentachook.com.au. This gift has so many bases covered– it’s perfect for a foodie, an eco-freak or an animal-lover. What lesbian do you know that isn’t one of those things? It can also be practice for the happy couple before a baby/cat. If they’re not ready to keep the hen, no problem, it’s only a rental! Of course, we wouldn’t recommend buying this for your girlfriend. Hens are annoying, they poop everywhere.
For the Lesbian Who Likes Men
We all have a female friend who understands all of our lesbian jokes, attends queer events, is more feminist and environmentally aware than all of our other gay friends, but actually likes men. For this special friend, we recommend Danielle Henderson’s Feminist Ryan Gosling: Feminist Theory From Your Favourite Sensitive Movie Dude.
Regardless of whether the child has two mummies or not, buy them the classic children’s book, Heather has Two Mommies. It’s an easy way to contribute to the increased acceptance and harmony of posterity. What a lovely Christmas sentiment.