Someone to come home to
Tales of friends' promiscuous, random hook-ups have always amused the Melbourne Lesbians, but it's one particular hook-up story that has them questioning their future and desires for security.
My gay best friend always fills me in on his sexual escapades over dinner. They never fail to surprise me because each story is more ridiculous than the one before.
Like the time he agreed to have sex in a Grindr hookup’s car, not knowing he would find a Lamborghini waiting at his door. Or the time he managed to seduce his straight electrician, who was also a popular Facebook fitness model with the mantra “no homo”. Or how his hundredth victim was a close friend, and his two hundredth victim happened to be that friend’s twin brother.
After more than six years of our friendship and his single gay life, I’ve collected enough stories to fill an issue of MCV, and have yet to tire of them.
But this time, I wasn’t surprised by who he had sex with, or where or with what equipment. I was surprised because I felt jealous.
He told me he had had a threesome with a successful couple in their late thirties. One was a stylist, and the other an interior designer. They lived in a perfectly decorated townhouse in West Melbourne, which they insisted was “not finished yet”.
He got to look into his future as a gay man and see a safe, happy, and most importantly, stylish home. If I have to have a threesome to meet a similar lesbian couple, then sign me up.
Sure, I know plenty of nice couples in their twenties, but where do all the older ones go? The ones that are in it for the long run. The ones that I can aspire to be.
I know where they all go; they fall into the lesbian abyss commonly referred to as Northcote.
I’d like to say not having such a couple in my life might save me some anxiety in the future when I fail to match up.
Or maybe it will allow me to pave my own way and not be limited by preconceived ideas of what constitutes success, but this does nothing to alleviate my pining.
The reason most people go through all the same stages in life— marriage, having babies, maybe divorce now, is because it’s nice to know what the future holds. It’s nice to have something to look forward to.
I don’t know if I’ll be able to get married, how I’ll have a child, if I want these things or if I don’t. I do know that it’s much more difficult to figure these things out without any guidance.
I’m not in high school any more, but I still need someone to tell me it gets better.