Grinding the dirt on gay sex

In his new stand-up show, comedian Nath Valvo dishes the dirt on his Grindr addiction, and reviewer Ben Rylan was there to hear it all.

There was a time when cruising for spontaneous gay sex was entrenched in such complexity. The crafted lingering gaze on the street – long enough to convey the message but cut just at the right time should the prey turn out to be straight, the secret language of foot tapping in public conveniences, and learning the significance of an odd cluster of parked cars at parks and gardens.

Thankfully, the gays now have Grindr, which has simplified casual gay sex like only an iPhone app could.

Grindr now has approximately 1 million users worldwide, 100,000 of which are reported to be right here in Australia (though if you fire it up during Nath Valvo’s show, you could be forgiven for thinking that was just the number of people in the theatre). While quick to entrench itself in the gay community, it became even more popular when Stephen Fry broached it on an episode of Top Gear, perhaps the perfect illustration of the unlikely boundaries it has infiltrated.

Comedian Nath Valvo’s Grindr: A Love Story? goes beyond the statistics and gasping curiosity the product has received from some facets of the mainstream media. For gays on the prowl, Grindr simply streamlines an age-old ideal, a sort of gay sex equivalent of when fast food introduced the drive-thru.

Simplified gratification can have its consequences though, as Valvo has discovered. In his new and very popular show, playing as part of Midsumma, Nath is performing a public confession of sorts: he’s addicted to Grindr.

The irony of a show that pokes fun at the effect Grindr has had to an audience almost entirely of gay men is key to the appeal of this comedy that struggles to leave even the few female members of the audience unscathed. 

What begins as an introduction to the app in the style of a self-help seminar (suffering and embarrassed volunteers and all) soon plunges deeper into the almost-always-at-least-slightly awkward inner workings of hook-ups and often inevitable orgies in the gay household. Beneath its “guilty pleasure” catch-cry, the show is really a kneaded dough of sarcasm and bitchiness at how quickly gay men can turn into a dirtier version of Pepé Le Pew when sex is on the menu.

Revealing self-deprecating tales of sexual conquests and hideous humiliation, Valvo makes no secret of his sharp wit and certainly makes the most of the unpredictable elements that come from cheeky audience participation.

Valvo delivers his critique with a stage persona almost like watching an imaginary Chelsea Handler play out The Devil Wears Prada; quick to shine a light of guilt on the audience, but even quicker to cast himself as just another gay-slut-cliché; a mere victim of what Grindr seeks to achieve for us. He also builds on the pace, eventually climaxing with quite unexpected results.

Being a bitch can mean walking a fine line. It might be easy for Valvo to take it too far and alienate an audience almost certain to be full of Grindr users, but he doesn’t. Instead, the show serves as a healthy dose of critical introspect at a culture we all know well but may have trouble admitting to being a part of. Which is of course, for anyone in the audience, rather ironic. 

Grindr: A Love Story?, Gasworks Arts Park, February 2-4, 2012, 9pm. Bookings: gasworks.org.au